


What if the one true love's the only one that you get

by raredelightfulloveoak (XerxesBreak)



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: A bday fic for my beautiful other half, Gen, Happy Quinn is a perfect Queen, I suck at titles in case you couldn't tell, I was intending this to be a fluffy fic but then the finale happened and ruined that idea, Toby Curtis is a precious puppy, UNDERCOVER!!!, after the S3 premire this fic is definately not going to be close to canon, except Quintis has taken over my soul, i really don't know how to tag this, much angst, not that that's anything new ;P, please be nice!!, possibly, the best solution is to just name it after whatever song you're currently listning to ;P
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-09 15:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7807147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XerxesBreak/pseuds/raredelightfulloveoak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three days after that fated proposal and nothing has changed. </p>
<p>(I am beat tired so that's as much as a lame summery you dear cyclone members are going to get {hopefully I'll fix it when I have more energy})</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DramaticTendency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticTendency/gifts).



_ I’ve loved you… _

_ Loved you since I can’t remember when. _

_ Loved you... _

_ Loved you... _

_ Loved you… _

 

_ I’m sorry… _

 

The strong fumes of the car oil burned her senses.

 

_ I can’t… _

 

All the things that were familiar, safe, the clank of her tools, the fragrance of old car smells, the oils, the gears, all of it, was too overwhelming. Instead of providing their familiar boost, she felt almost like she was being drained of everything.

 

_ I’m sorry...please... _

 

__ Happy’s eyes shot open just as everything started closing in too fast. She must have been sitting in her truck for hours - the fabric of the steering wheel was biting into her palms from gripping it too hard. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes again and released the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. 

_ Hap, please trust in me, you can lower those shields a bit. _

__ _ I don’t think...I’m not sure I know how to… _

__ _ It’s okay sweetheart, we’re together now. I’m never going to leave you, we can work this out together. _

 

__ Happy let out a short strained laugh. Add that to the list of times where the need to tell him ate away at her insides like acid. “Damn it!” She released a hand from the wheel, lashing out with a strangled yell. The hollow thump of her palm contrasted with her heavy heartbeat. “Damn it,” the words came out as a whisper as she lowered her head onto the wheel. “Damn it.” Why couldn’t she do anything right? Why was it always so hard to just say...something, anything? 

 

_ We can work this out _ . 

 

The words waited patiently for her to make a choice. 

 

_ We can work this out. _

 

Could they? Happy sat up, brushing the words aside and taking a breath. The garage door held her gaze like some sort of life or death staring match. A match that had been going on all morning. What was holding her back? She was Happy Quinn, mechanical prodigy, with a genius IQ. She could repair any engine with her eyes closed. And that was hardly the breadth of her ability. If it had parts, or there were mechanics involved, she could fix it. She had saved  _ the entire world _ , countless times. So what was she afraid of?

 

_ He must hate me so much _ . 

 

There, that was it. A year ago she would have never let herself even fantasize about being so close to someone. And now? She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, without wondering what he was doing. The truth was, he was an idiot. He knew exactly how to unnerve her, unravel her; and yet, despite wanting to strangle him at times, she wanted him to have everything. 

 

But no matter what she thought, she still let him down. Tore him to pieces, pulled the rug out from under him. She’d ruined the only safe home she’d ever found. But she was going to move on, she wasn’t going to let this eat her up inside. He was never going to forgive her for this, but she could at least lessen the sting if she could forgive herself. Self-loathing wasn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


“Toby.” 

 

_ Please, don’t follow me.  _

 

“Toby.” 

 

_ What matters in life is love.  _

 

“Toby.” 

 

How? After everything that had happened? How could he still feel it burning through his veins, fueling the very fire that let him live every day? 

 

“Toby.”

 

How did he still believe in love when love had never believed in him? 

 

“Toby!” Cabe’s voice snapped him out of whatever funk had taken hold of him. The muscles on Cabe’s face relaxed as he put a hand on Toby’s shoulder. “I called your name five times, Doc.” Toby couldn’t respond, he wet his lips but his throat was still parched. Cabe’s gaze softened, “We’ve got a case, we need you on point for this, kid.” 

 

Toby nodded, the motion second nature and pulled together a smile. You know, the kind where he could pretend everything was alright, like he wasn’t dying inside? The kind where he could tell life to kiss his ass because he was going to make it through this one? Yeah, that smile, and he  _ was  _ going to make it. 

 

Maybe he tricked himself into believing that he deserved someone, and maybe he convinced himself that he wouldn’t lose whatever special magic he had had in his grasp, but he wasn’t going to let life beat him and hang him up to dry like a pair of overused and over abused clothes. He could push through this. If he could just...speak…

 

Cabe was still giving him that fatherly look and Toby would have hugged him if that sort of thing didn’t end up leading to disapproving stares. 

 

“Yeah.” His head bobbed again. “Yeah, okay.” Words. What happened to his endless stream of them? Maybe he’d run out; spent them all over a weekend yelling at himself. 

 

Yelling at himself over things he couldn’t change but felt like he had to fix. Over something that wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t find anyone else to blame. 

 

“Life can go fuck it.” Cabe raised an eyebrow in surprise over Toby’s sudden outburst. He opened his mouth to speak, but his lips remained parted wordlessly before he closed them again. Finally, Cabe patted Toby’s shoulder. 

 

“You can save that for later, but right now focus that energy on the case.”  

 

Toby nodded again, that same smile filled with cold fire and faked confidence. He went to say something but Cabe cut him off with a hug. “I’m glad you got your head on straight son, but you better get out there before Walter blows a gasket.”

 

“Sure thing boss! Can I get a kiss while we’re at it?” 

 

Cabe stared him down, face masked. “Don’t push it, Doc.” 

 

Still grinning, Toby surrendered and walked out to the team, making sure that he had a skip in his step and that everybody knew it. He faltered slightly when his brain made him painfully aware of a certain mechanic’s absence, but he was sure that no one noticed but him. 

 

Walter was standing front and center next to an unfamiliar steely-eyed woman. She gave Toby too long a glance, which he was fairly sure was a result of him not touching his hair for days and the bags that were most definitely present under his eyes. 

 

After a moment, Walter coughed a short greeting towards Toby and turned to introduce their guest. “Guys, this is Special Agent Avah Smitt. She has a very interesting proposition for us.” He nodded towards the woman and she took a step forward.

 

“Two days ago, this man was murdered.” Her voice carried throughout the room, the last syllable hanging in the air as a picture filled the screen behind her.  She didn’t miss a beat, as she continued on before they even had a chance to really look at the man displayed. He was on the younger side, tired looking and with a sadly obvious comb-over. 

 

“Arthur Steele,” she said with a wide gesture. “Mr. Steele was part of a connected kidnapping case. It wasn’t until his death that we realized we needed someone else on this case. Someone..smarter.”  She smiled at them with a prolonged pause, one Toby was eager to fill.

 

“So, what is this case exactly?” Her grin grew wider, teeth blinding, before she turned grim-faced and serious, “These criminals, the men responsible for Mr. Steele’s death, have been kidnapping people for months now. At first there wasn’t a clear connection, but that’s when we saw that we weren’t looking deep enough.”  With a flourish the screens were covered with half a dozen faces of both men and women, all of varying backgrounds and lifestyles. 

 

After a moment, Sylvester raised his hand slowly, “Uh, what are we looking for exactly?” Avah started to respond, but Toby cut in, focused on the faces in front of him, 

“They’ve all got some sort of crafting expertise,” he started quietly. Avah nodded, a bit caught off guard, before adding, “Yes, nice catch, Mr…?”

“Curtis. Dr Curtis,” Toby offered after a silent second. Avah smiled and went on. 

“All these men and women are mechanics, engineers, physicists, jobs of that kind. Whatever they were kidnapped for, their captors are building something,” this time her smile grew dangerous, “and we just might know where they’re hiding.” 

 

She stopped, clearly waiting for a response, but no one spoke up. Finally Paige clapped her hands together, the impact thundering in the silence, “So, we go in, grab the guys, destroy  _ whatever _ they’re building, and I can get home in time for Monday night Scrabble with Ralph?”  She looked hopefully at their speaker as Sylvester interjected. “There’s a ‘but’ coming, isn’t there?”

 

“Yes,” the woman answered and Paige shrugged like she knew it was coming. “We don’t know the identities of our kidnappers and it’d be dangerous to send your whole team in due to the fact that we still are unsure of their plans.” She hesitated, holding her breath like she was holding back on something, “Also we’ll be working on our own, no government ties of any sorts. My boss didn’t approve this mission and no other agencies are willing to help. The criminals are hiding in a nice hotel, and we don’t want to  _ disturb the peace. _ ” The way she said the last few words made it sound like she had heard them way too often.

 

Finally, she looked at Walter with bright eyes, “I have room for myself and two of your teammates. Please, tell me you’ll help with this.” 

 

Toby leaned forward, waiting for Walter’s response. The desperation in Avah’s voice held a deeper meaning. After a brief moment, Paige stepped forward, placing a hand on both Walter and Sylvester’s shoulders. “Sly and I could pose as Chaz and Alyssa again, Walter,” she started, but Walter dismissed her suggestion with a shake of his head. 

 

“Toby should go. It would provide the best vantage point for an efficient profile…and we need Happy to deal with whatever weapon or device they’re creating. ” 

 

At that, Toby ran a hand through his hair, letting his finger pull through the tangles. The physical discomfort was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside. Why wasn’t he stronger? How come he couldn’t be the person he told himself he could be?  

 

“Can’t I just go with Tim?” he suggested meekly, but the offer fell flat. 

 

Walter folded his arms, “Very funny, Toby, but Tim has an appointment with his therapist, so he’ll be absent around here for awhile.” There was a slight pause, like he was almost unsure of how to choose his next words, “And we need Happy on this.”

 

_ Happy… _

 

Her name cut through him like the dull blade of a knife. He wasn’t even sure if he was angry at her, or himself.  He only knew that he would do anything to make her believe he was worth a risk. He probably could have hated her, he  _ should _ have hated her, but he knew her too well for that...although maybe he didn’t know her as well as he had thought.

 

Walter’s voice drifted to him through the fog, “Where is Happy by the way?” 

  
As if answering him, the door swung open with a deafening bang. And in walked a storm. It had been three days since Toby had last seen her, he should have had more control not to whip his head around as soon as the door slammed open. He  _ wished _ he could have stared straight ahead, like this wasn’t killing him inside. But it was, and maybe it’d hurt less if he could admit it to himself that he was lost without her. 


	2. Chapter 2

 

It had been three days since he’d last seen her. 72 hours since he watched her sparkling eyes vanish, 4320 minutes since he was choking on the vodka like she had choked on those teary, haunting words. Her eyes were a mirror of his own, tired and holding a dying smokey fire. Her hair was pulled back in the messiest ponytail he had ever seen, the tangles masked by overlapping curls. 

 

Happy walked right past him and stood next to Walter and their guest. She set her shoulders back. Her small frame was a bold and strong presence despite her tired eyes, and Toby felt crushed by its weight. 

 

“Tell me we’ve got a case.” Short and to the point, and Toby wondered if he should be relieved that some things would never change. Like the way her lips were set in a straight line, all business, or the way she quirked an eyebrow, waiting for Walter’s answer. 

 

Walter nodded, and throughout the whole briefing Happy’s face was set in stone. Toby silently cursed himself for wishing for some sort of crack in her walls. The confidence and determination he had wrapped his longing and hope in was paper thin. It kept ripping and letting his fooled lover heart shine through. Even after they all parted and started preparing for the case, Toby stayed still, frozen, like a crumbling statue; he could almost feel his faded light dying out, and all it had taken was one look at her face. 

 

“Hey.” Toby jumped slightly, caught off guard by Sylvester’s presence. “I could talk to Walter about going for you. You can profile people just fine from here. He’s just trying to help.” 

 

“Thanks Sly, but I’m fine, buddy,” Toby said as he patted Sylvester’s shoulder. Sylvester slumped over, shoulders drooping in defeat, but Toby’s mind was elsewhere: where  _ was  _ that egomaniac by the way?

 

“If you’re looking for Walter,” Sylvester said, cutting through his thoughts, “He’s over there.” Sly gestured over to where Walter was hunched over his laptop, muttering to himself as his fingers typed rapidly.

 

“Thanks, pal,” Toby called over his shoulder as he made his way over to Walter. Sylvester was starting to become way too good at reading his mind, and Toby laughed silently to himself over that realization.

 

Walter’s brows were furrowed together in deep thought, and Toby leaned over the desk as casually as possible, “So Walt, what happened with Paige? I was expecting you two to come back reunited over a romantic weekend.”

 

“I, uh,” Walter coughed uncomfortably, avoiding Toby’s eyes, “I turned around.”

 

“You came back? To the garage?” Toby paused in thought, “I don’t remember seeing you,” 

 

“You were in a corner drunk, singing ‘Come What May’ to yourself,” Walter shot back.  “I don’t think you would have noticed anything.” 

 

He shut his laptop slowly, to carefully, and started to leave; Toby stopped him with a soft hand to his chest, “I’m proud you know your musicals Walt, but this isn’t about me. What about Paige? You finally admitted to yourself you love her! You’re going against a Greek god for the heart of your fair lady and you just  _ turn around _ ? What about love? What happened to that?”

  
  


Walter froze, and for a second Toby thought that he was finally getting somewhere, that Walter had finally got it through that thick skull of his what was really important in life. Not science or theorems, but human connections -  _ love.  _ Then Walter was stone faced again, stubborn, and Toby decided that maybe when it came to this,  they were both two sides of a very diverse coin. 

 

“I really don’t think I should take romantic advice from you,” Walter deadpanned, “After what happened with Happy.” 

 

Right, and there it was, Mr Robot 197. There was no malice or ill-intentions with Walter’s words, but even with his ever growing EQ he could still unknowingly deal a fatal blow with the dry release of his words and his  matter-of-fact statement of facts.

 

And as if on cue, Happy was beside him, “What was that about me?” she asked, staring dead on into Walter’s eyes, before nodding a head over to where Agent Smitt was pacing feverously.

 

“You set Walt? Our friend here is getting antsy, we need to go.” 

 

And finally,  _ finally _ , she turned towards Toby. She looked angry, fragile, wild, timid, but still strong. She was always strong. 

 

“Doc,” she acknowledged before turning on her heel and walking out. 

 

Toby gave a half-assed salute to Walter, coupled with a drowsy wink and followed after her, trying not to feed his hope of talking to Happy over the ride out. After all, when did anything in life ever go his way?

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Happy had woken up that morning determined to try and set things straight. She had walked into the garage with every intention of pulling him aside and explaining everything, but the moment she walked through the door she couldn’t do it.

 

All it took was one look; she saw him standing there, red eyed with messy unwashed curls and she felt her throat close up. All she could do without bursting was focus all her energy on the case, rushing to get things done, to occupy her mind, to steady her shaking hands. 

 

She’d brushed her aside when Paige had approached to talk, and only gave a brief hello to Sly before rushing out. She feared if she started talking the words would pour out, something she had lived her life learning to avoid.

 

And now here she was, squished uncomfortably between two strangers, aisles down from where she wanted to be. Waiting for the plane ride to talk to Toby had been a bad idea, and she regretted keeping silent in the car. 

 

“You’re a pretty one,” the elderly woman to the right of her mused. “Almost as desireable as myself back when I was in my prime.” The woman leaned over Happy to harshly nudge the man on the other side of her who had fallen asleep, “But I’ve still got it, don’t I, Oscar?” 

 

He didn’t answer. He didn’t do much of anything except wipe the drool tiredly from his mouth. 

 

“I give it to you good in bed every night,” she continued, “Now tell the pretty young girl I’m still as good as them young folk.”

“Marge, stop harassing the poor thing,” he finally told her after a sleepy moment.

 

The woman let out a small huff before leaning towards Happy’s ear, “I’m double jointed you know,” she stated proudly, and when Happy did nothing more than nod uncomfortably, the elderly woman retreated and switched her focus to reading. 

 

It was some cheesy romance novel. The kind with those covers that made your eyes hurt. Bronzed muscled men, scantily clad dependent women, and absurd titles. She'd be kidding herself if she said that it didn't remind her of the silly books she caught Toby reading at times. He’d always insisted he read them for their smart prose, or to evaluate just how crazy the character’s mental states were, but she knew that he was really just some dorky sappy romantic. Well, probably not anymore. She must have crushed whatever hope he had left in love. 

 

“You okay sweetheart?” Happy’s focus turned over to where the old man, Oskar, was looking at her, “You look like you want to punch something.”

 

“That’d be nice,” Happy admitted, putting on a small smile, his comfort feeling heartfelt. “But I don’t think the person in front of me would enjoy that much.”

Oskar nodded, like he was seriously contemplating her words, “What did you do?”

 

“I,” she started, unsure. If she couldn’t bring herself to talk to Toby, or Paige, or even Sylvester over this, how  could she tell some stranger she’d never met? Toby probably had some shrinky psychobabble as to why she did, but Happy blamed it on the calming sincere sweetness the old man had, “...screwed up.” she finished. 

 

“Does it have to do with the man you came here with?” Marge chipped in, abandoning her book. “That woman you two arrived with was looking at him pretty longingly if I do say so myself.” 

 

“She was?” Happy asked harshly, surprised, before she could stop herself. “I mean, good for him.” 

 

“Don’t get me wrong, he was looking at you lovestruck and like he’d just swam a marathon,” Marge continued, ignoring Happy’s words, “All beat and tired like, but that woman looked way too interested if you ask me.”

 

Happy nodded, trying to cut in, but the older woman was on a roll. “And your face looked like you wanted to do serious damage to something, but your eyes, ’cause you can’t control those peepers, were looking at him like he hung the stars, I just couldn’t help but feel sorry for you.” 

 

Happy froze, whatever thought was in her head vanishing. She couldn’t remember how to speak, or what she wanted to say in the first place, all she could do was let out a whisper before she could catch herself, “I was?”  

 

Her head felt foggy, too heavy, and suddenly Oscar had a hand on hers and she realized she’d stopped breathing. Happy released the air trapped inside her lungs coupled with a roll of her eyes, “He’s just an aggravating co-worker I have to go on a job with.” 

 

After months of teaching herself how to be more open, more feeling, it surprised her how easy it was to slip back into her cold metal armor, to go back behind her walls. “He’s nothing special,” The words hurt to say, and Happy regretted it. He was too special, maybe that was the problem Under his annoying quirks and smartass comments was a person she wanted to protect at all costs. That’s why they couldn’t work, they were to broken. Happy tried to convince herself of this.  

 

“Oh,” The woman’s voice went softer, “There was just some sort of fractured chemistry between the two of you.” Fractured hardly does us justice, Happy thought, more like demolished.

“I need to go,” She started abruptly, her fingers tripping over themselves to release her buckle. 

 

“The restrooms on the far right,” Oskar offered with a soft squeeze of her hand. Happy made her way over to the restroom with no other purpose than to be alone. She watched Toby out of the corner of her eye as she passed and pretended not to notice the small smile he sent her way. 

 

Agent Smitt was passed out cold on Toby’s shoulder, while the man to his right has muscles larger than any she had seen and seemed to be messing with Toby’s hair. Happy rolled her eyes at Avah’s sleeping form, she was wrapped around his arm, snuggling into him like he was her own personal body pillow.  Talk about being clingy, though Toby was probably enjoying the attention…

...Happy shut the bathroom door harder than necessary. She released a sigh as she surveyed her surroundings. Not the cleanest place but she’d seen worse. The real test was if she could spend the next half hour there.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil warning, I started this after the finale and I was a little scared and reluctant to post it at first, because after the S3 premiere all of this is going to be crushed by canon and I wasn't sure if anyone would still like it. But I've worked hard on this, trying to make it good for my dear friend, so I decided to just go for it. I would love love love to hear some feedback from you guys if you have the time :)


End file.
